How to set up an inflatable kayak: the real story

Blogs and YouTube videos show a perfect set up, usually with greenery in the background. Let’s face it, that’s not how it goes with you or I , and probably not for them either on their first times.

So if you want a perfect set up of the Advanced Elements Tandem Kayak (Advanced Frame Convertible Kayak: AE1007) google it and you’ll find it. If you want to know how it really goes, especially with two small kids, keep reading.

Step 1: put kids to sleep

Step 2: drag the inflatable kayak bag from the shed in the dark

Step 3: throw all parts on your kitchen floor after shoving aside the pile of stuff you need to post on buy nothing, try to sell, and donate when all else fails

Step 4: make a snack, because you realize you’re starving and can’t understand the instructions in such a state, and didn’t have time to watch those perfect YouTube videos

Step 5: blow up the first compartment, feeling proud of yourself for showing restraint and only doing 55 pumps as the instructions say.

Step 6: put the backbone in and figure out its short. Message the person you bought it from on Facebook, at 11:30 at night, to ask if the missing piece is still at his house.

Step 7: blow up the 5th step, thinking you’re doing the second, and don’t recognize the error until the 4th step and deflate everything

Step 8: midnight feeding then come back into the kitchen with fresh eyes and realize the backbone would fit now that it’s blown up. Message the Facebook guy back it’s a false alarm.

Step 9: grab another snack and drop a prunes baby food jar, smashing the glass next to your (air!) kayak. Clean up and find a missing magnet letter.

Step 10: Be excited about having everything blown up. Then realize the foot petals are on the floor and needed to be installed first. Look at the time (past midnight) and throw them back in the bag. Celebrate the 15’ kayak in your kitchen and adjust the seats.

Step 11: take your toddler to potty

Step 12: deflate everything and wonder how it all fit in the bag to begin with

Step 13: Have a glass of pomegranate juice (if it’s in a fancier glass it’s like wine, right?). Get everything in the bag and decide you’ll brush your teeth then make a checklist of the steps for paddling tomorrow and watch an assembly video

Step 14: brush your teeth and fall asleep